Can I let you in on a little secret? Writing terrifies me.
Give me a microphone and an audience of any size—I’m your girl. Ask me to write an email to more than three people—my heart begins to pick up the pace.
The idea of my words being out in the world in written form for anyone to read, analyze, or criticize stresses me out. This is why the success of my last blog post propelled me into an anxiety attack. Thousands of people I’ve never met reading about one of the most personal moments of my life. What was I thinking?!
Don’t get me wrong! I truly believe I was meant to write that post. However, the stress and anxiety of it all did cause me to shrink back into the shadows for a while. But, I’m back.
I cannot wait to dig deeper into the Bible and share what I am learning through this website! But, before we get back into that, I do owe you a long-overdue life update—especially for those of you who have joined me on my journey, but that I have not met personally!
Since my post about miscarriage, we have in fact been blessed with a Rainbow baby. She is a miracle, to say the least.
Let’s keep this short and sweet with a few special highlights: Through our last season, we found out that I have a very rare condition that put me on the high-risk pregnancy list. Despite many obstacles, our baby defied the odds and came to term. She only came two weeks early! Her due date was the exact same day that we found out that we had lost our second baby the year prior. Her name is Ashlyn Joy Elder. Her name has a very special meaning, but for sake of space, you can read more about that here. Her brother Jackson adores her, and she adores him.
Through seasons of darkness, anxiety, joy, and now exhaustion with a baby in the house, this past year and a half has been a roller coaster with a lot of lessons to be learned along the way. I would say one of the biggest lessons I have had to come to terms with is in regards to contentment.
There is always more to be desired. That is the default of humans.
Ecclesiastes 6:9 (ESV)
“Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the appetite: this also is vanity and a striving after wind.”
Contentment takes intentionality. To intentionally be thankful, to intentionally live in the moment, to intentionally stop scrolling through perfect pictures on Instagram! And to intentionally remember Jesus is everything.
Colossians 1:17 (ESV)
“And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”
When you finally receive the blessing you wanted, there will always be something else to desire. For me in this season, I am learning to actively choose contentment and praise. There is so much to be thankful for.
With that, I am excited to be back! I cannot wait to dive deeper into the Bible with you. Whether you are new or have been here for a while, I hope you join me.